There was something in the air that night … The lights were bright at INFERNO. Many historians argue as to the exact account of what happened, but they all agree on the following: the hot humid air was beckoning the fingers of many guitarists, and its challenge was met with ferocity. One after another came the warriors of air guitar, melting the faces of all who dared to bear witness. As if possessed by schizophrenic demons from hell, they shredded the shit out of guitars that no one would ever see, but would all feel in their souls.
Right off the bat-out-of-hell, the stage was mangled with what we can only assume was an air-manic-PTSD-episode. The judges did not take kindly to that with a combined score of negative 3, setting the bar at “we ain't fuckin around.” The contestants then knew it would take more than drunken destruction to win this one!
The competition was fierce that night my children, glass after glass was broken, along with the dreams of many a contestant! Finally, after the dust settled, 3 brave air warriors stood ready for the final round. Trey “I'm just in it for the money” Booth, Ethan “Look under my leather kilt if you dare” Block, and perhaps the ballsiest of all motherfuckers, playing not air guitar, but AIR BASS! This was The Italian Stallion, The Livio!
All 3 had to air guitar their assses to the master of real ass guitar, Dimebag Darryl a la Cowboys from Hell! It was a bloodthirsty fight for the finish, but after hours of intense deliberation the judges had their rankings:
1st Place: Livio
2nd Place: Ethan
3rd Place: Trey
And so it was, the 6th Annual Air Guitar Championship, was concluded ... like a flower growing from a blood-soaked battlefield, however, something beautiful grew from the destruction. 3,185 RMB was raised for Shanghai non-profit animal shelter PPAR.
Huge thanks to INFERNO, DJ Bo, Una, the rocking competitors and all the public for making this charity event a super awesome event!